this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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