So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
