Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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