proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
