I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
