im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
