Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
