drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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