i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
