This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
