uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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