I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
