i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
