she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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