I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
