3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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