when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
