Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
