I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well I just put wine in my tea
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize