this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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