can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
