Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
