That's when you crack a 10am beer
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize