i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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