Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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