Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize