dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize