Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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