omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
either way he was missing a nipple.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
