It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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