i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
