Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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