Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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