You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
