I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
