is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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