I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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