I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
