And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
