In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Text me some of your sweat
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
