I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm too high and old for this...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
