Please, let me fuck your mom
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
