I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Is her dick bigger than yours?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
