He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
