Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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