So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
