Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize