i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
