They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize