i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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