Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
