he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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