I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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