just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
