I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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