Got a toothbrush?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
