you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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