I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
