Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
