did you get engaged???
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
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