Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
