I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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