so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
