I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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