The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize