How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
BRING THE BAGELS
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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