i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
