No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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