I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
